On Feeling Discouraged: What To Do When You Want To Give Up

I’ve been feeling discouraged lately. And it’s not the first time. 

I’m sure you can relate, especially as an indie part-time musician. 

So I’m writing this post to myself and trying to take my own advice. 

Maybe it will help you too. 

Feel it

Many people, including myself, skip this step. 

But it’s okay to feel discouraged. So just feel it. 

Suppressing emotions is like trying to hold in a poop. It’s going to come out at some point, but it’s up to you if it will be messy or not. 

Acknowledging your emotions is the first step to managing them. 

Write about how you feel

Writing brings clarity. That’s part of why I’m writing this blog post, to understand myself. 

So journal about how you feel. 

Write a song about your emotions. 

Type up your thoughts in a Google Doc and don’t show it to anyone. 

However you choose to do it, try writing about your discouragement. 

Review what you’ve accomplished

One of the most encouraging things for me has been to track and review the goals I’ve accomplished and the good things that have happened for my music career.

I use the 5×5 method. And it gives me instant encouragement. 

Remind yourself of all the things you’ve accomplished and that will give you some fuel to keep going. 

Make a deal with yourself

Sometimes you feel discouraged because the things you expected to happen don’t happen. 

And this may mean you need to adjust. 

So make a deal with yourself. 

The deal could be: “If I put in the work and X doesn’t happen by THIS DATE, I’m going to change how I’m doing the work or what I’m focusing on.”

Just like the act of making music, building a music career takes experimentation, failure, and then trying something else.

Give yourself less to do

It’s possible you feel discouraged because you’re trying to do too much at once. 

I’ve done this and sometimes still do. 

But you’ve got to find your focus as a musician. Then ignore everything else. 

With a clearer and sharper focus, you can give yourself less to do each day. 

Then you can focus on consistently creating, even if it’s just one thing a day. 

Take a hiatus

In 2014, I took a break from music for about a year and a half. 

I wasn’t really writing songs. I wasn’t recording anything. 

I thought I might quit the whole idea of making music my career. 

Fortunately, I ended up returning to music

But in hindsight, I needed that hiatus. I needed some rest. 

Maybe you could use a hiatus from music, just so you can take a breath before returning to the work. 

Change direction

I spent 9-10 years as a performing artist. And not much was happening for me. 

Finally, I got it through my thick skull that what I was doing wasn’t working, so I changed direction. 

I started focusing on writing and producing songs. 

And now, people hire me to produce their music. 

Within the past year or so, my music was on NBC, ABC, and in two videos for Chewy. 

Clients continue to hire me to write music advice content.

When I first started my music career, I didn’t expect to be doing what I do now. 

But music helps pay the bills, and that means I get to spend a large portion of my day making music. 

All because I was willing to change direction. 

Need Regular Encouragement?

Every Monday, I send a weekly email called 5 Things To Help You Keep Going.

It includes five resources from the internet I found helpful, each with a short blurb about it. 

Cecilie, an indie musician and subscriber, told me, “It’s easily the most valuable email newsletter that I, as a fellow musician with a day job, get. And I get a lot.”

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